Wanda Gower-James

"Before my hearing loss developed life was so good. I had a loving family, I was fit, healthy and social, I had a wide group of friends and a kindergarten teaching job that I was enjoying. I had just returned to work after being home for 10 years looking after our babies who were now moving into high school, teenage years...

The Diagnosis. Unexplained.

In January 1999 I was fitted with inner bilateral hearing aids. I was diagnosed as having a moderate hearing loss in one ear and a moderate to severe loss in the other. By September 2006 I required the most powerful outer hearing aids that there was.

I am now severely deaf in both ears. I have developed what is known as an unexplained hearing loss. I have had every test imaginable to search for a cause but as I have said no cause could be established, hence the term “unexplained hearing loss”.

The Denial

I went from being a confident short haired, social, out there women, to a reclusive, isolated, unsure women who was growing my hair to cover my ears. I had turned into a woman that said no to anything that required listening. i.e. saying no to life.

For six years I was in total denial and not addressing the fact that I had this unexplained hearing loss. I didn’t know where to turn to or what to do. This didn’t happen to people like me, I wasn’t old!!

My work colleagues, friends, and family stood on the side line in as much despair as myself in regards as to what to do to help. I hit rock bottom, hiding under a blanket and crying six years of my life away.

A catalyst for change

A coffee in a shady quiet cafe (and there are not too many of them around!) with a friend was the first of many steps I took to climb back into the land of living. We talked. How often this is the catalyst for change. In April 2006 I went to see a Hearing Therapist. Where did all these tears come from? She explained that it was a loss and that before I could deal with the remedies I had to deal with the loss.

Her role was to help me with the practical side of a hearing disability. I needed to see a councillor about the grief that goes with a loss. This realisation was like the beginning of a new day. I had never looked at it in this way.

I haven’t looked back since.

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

The first part of dealing with hearing loss is admitting you have a loss, if you don’t do this you are not ready to seek the solution that suits you. With the wonderful support of my councillor, hearing therapist, hearing association, audiologist, family, friends, work colleagues, technology and those others who have dealt with a hearing loss already I am now striving to live my life to the fullest I can.

Solutions don’t just come. You have to be proactive in seeking advice, trying new technologies, developing new support networks, and educating your family, friends and work colleagues. Second to admitting you have a hearing loss is owning both the problem and the responsibility for finding the solutions.

Yes, I miss not hearing the rain, not being able to listen to music, not being able to catch that witty remark or flow easily into chatter and casual conversation. Knowing that pillow talk only happens with the light on is OK when you are young, sexy and 20!!

However I have discovered a new awareness and unconditional acceptance of other people’s disabilities.
New relationships have developed, and I have explored how deep friendships really are and what family love means.

Every day is a challenge

It’s a matter of finding new ways to do things I used to do. The other challenge is for people to accept that they have to make an effort or a change to their routine to allow me to have the relationships I used to have. My teaching team has whole heartedly embraced this challenge. They have shown great sensitivity, caring and innovativeness in finding ways to allow me to continue to be a fully effective member of our teaching team.

Where am I going? I don’t really know as I don’t know how far my loss will progress. The spectre of total deafness lurks however it doesn’t hold the fear it once did because I have learnt being deaf won’t make me a lesser person. With the support of good people and the courage to name and face problems you can overcome them.

IN FINISHING...

In finishing I would say: Solutions take time, and be kind to yourself.
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